Different

My friend feels different.

A social thunderstorm around him. He sits quietly in the sofa, uncurious.

Jokes a lot less and his attention is divided. He doesn’t seem to care if he finishes that book.

Sometimes, I see him deep in thought. Other times, he’s exercising his reflexes to prevent the unexpected disaster. He hears and sees dangers in sounds and movements that I’m deaf and blind to.

When he talks, it’s brief. Polite. Sufficient.

When he listens, it’s partial. Superficial. His mind is in two places.

He smells of sweat and formula, and gets excited when he can spend time with his own self.

He used to be cocky. Talked grand and bullish. Often on thin ice when walking an argument. Sometimes he plunged.

Occassionally, a glimpse of his former self reappears. All sound is blocked out and he’s laser-focused. He surfaces his understandings, opinions, depth. I think he enjoys that.

Ambition took the backseat, or shapeshifted. Or it’s peppered, like a special dish from fine dining. I don’t know.

My friend feels different. He’s more endearing than ever.

He shares his feelings more often, shifting between vulnerable and resilient. He’s more thankful and considerate.

His collection of stuff lies around without order. Tidiness, subdued. Overridden.

He makes clown faces and weird noises, without a care in the world. Falls on his nose doing silly tricks in the living room. Sings sweet tunes that calm restlessness. Dances silly dances with joy. All he looks for is a smile from the small, naive, curious face.

Ego took the backseat, or shapeshifted. I don’t think it’s peppered.

He exercises patience with all his might. Orchestrates entropic thoughts and shapes them into something rational. Sees uncontrolled emotion splashing out and contains it. Many times over.

He looks at beauty in a new way. A photo. A laugh. An original thought he didn’t see coming.

My friend wants me to experience the same feelings. Wants me to understand how complex, scary and exciting it all is. He sees I would enjoy the ride.

I ask for a photo and his eyes suddenly light up.

I ask for a story and conversation heats up.

I am suddenly immensely interesting.

My friend feels different. He’s got a kid.